“Activision Reports Sluggish Sales For Sousaphone Hero”

The Onion, “America’s Finest News Source,” reports that Activision only sold 52 copies of this sequel to Guitar Hero nationwide in its first week of availability:

Sousaphone Hero offers two dozen public-domain marches, including 1893’s “The Liberty Bell,” 1896’s “Stars and Stripes Forever,” and 1897’s “Entry of the Gladiators.” The bulky sousaphone-shaped controller coils around the body, and players wear white spat-like foot coverings fitted with sensors that monitor synchronized marching steps. As with the fret buttons on Guitar Hero‘s guitar peripheral, the sousaphone controller’s three valves are color-coded to match on-screen notes the player must hit.

So don’t count on weekends with your Xbox 360 and Sousaphone Hero to get in shape for homecoming!